Monday, 14 May 2012
My question was: how do I kill vanity. How do I distract myself from vanity, from insecurities? How can I rid myself of these discomforts so I can get to the core of me, and without personal distraction get work done; listen to anyone for once. And this I did ask you. You answered my question with a question and gave me a book about the east, I was amused with you're pretension. So I read you're book and did some traveling, I put my fingers in some interesting places. And now I realize what I was really trying to ask. And what I was asking was the answer to my peace. And I'm ashamed. Realizing this, I don't want your answer or anybodies, nor do I care for; not yet. So you were right when you said I didn't know what I was trying to figure out. And in trying to find the correct question I found myself more removed. I enjoy my confusion, and the confusion of my community. And it hurts most of the time, but I'll live in it without pride until it hurts too much. So lets take peace off the table, and I like my self-doubt, I also like hers tonight.There was a time in my life when a man told me he'd tell on me if I tried to steal a candy bar, he made sense so I put it back. I'll ask more questions later.